Sex: The Ultimate Language

Albert Mehrabian is professor emeritus of psychology at UCLA. He is well known for his work on body language, and particularly for working out the estimated percentages of verbal and non-verbal communication. His work in essence measured how, when people expressed likes and dislikes, their words, body language and tone of voice told the real story. He concluded that words only account for 7% of the message, whereas tone of voice accounted for 38% and body language 55%. So if the body, when it comes to likes and dislikes, tell 55% of the story, it really matters when it comes to sex.The secret to a good sex life, and to a good life in general, is quite simply this: learn to communicate effectively. No trick, position, sex toy or “new” experience will make sex better if we haven’t learned the most fundamental and most powerful skill any person could have namely to listen and to respond effectively. This skill is particularly difficult between the two sexes because men use different parts of their brain to listen and respond than women do. That being said, the fact that we use different parts of our brains to communicate works out perfectly in nature and therefore becomes critical in a good sex life.The ultimate expression
In kindergarten we are taught that we listen with our ears. This isn’t so – our ears receive sound waves, but it is our brains that do the listening. Moreover, if we take body language into account, we receive signals with our eyes as well. When it comes to sex, not only do we see body language, we also feel signals, hear signals, smell signals and taste signals. Sex is the ultimate form of communication. The entire body tells a story that combines smells, and tastes and feelings and sounds into the pinnacle of pleasure.The thing with sex though is that, because our entire body speaks, it reflects our mind completely. We cannot separate our minds from our bodies, especially when we are giving ourselves so completely. This is precisely where the catch comes in – all our fears, inhibitions and uncertainties are reflected along with our hopes and expectations. This is the key to understanding sex: fear holds us back, freedom allows us greater experiences. Therefore, we must be free to communicate in order to have better sex!To listen and respond
We may all use the same words, and roughly construct sentences in the same way, but each and every human being has a language of their own. As babies we responded to our mother’s touch, as children we learned the meaning of words through our personal experiences. As teenagers we developed a deeper value to these words and as adults we use them to be productive. Our understanding of language is subject to so many variations in our experiences that each one of us has a unique language. How we get along is a miracle – mostly our need to survive overrides the potential conflicts of the misunderstandings we regularly have.I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s when “Women’s Lib” was at a peak – as a boy I was taught that men must listen to women, but because no man in my previous generation knew precisely what that entails, I developed a low self esteem when it came to girls. I felt inadequate when it came to understanding them and listening to them because every effort I made somehow failed to make an impression. It was only when I met a girl who didn’t expect me to know everything beforehand that I was able to start learning.After many years of good relationships and many intimate experiences, I discovered a simple way to learn a woman’s language: ask. When you are doing something new with your hands, listen to her breathing, feel the response of her body, listen to the sounds she is making – when they all tell you that it is good, then chances are that it is good. However, girls sometimes make the same noises during sex that they make when digging out dish washing liquid under the sink, and that is when us men get really confused. Instead of trying to guess whether that was a “oh my gosh do it again” groan or a “that’s not it!” groan, simply ask whether what you are doing works for her. If it does, keep going. If it doesn’t, ask her to move your hand, or simply try something new. Soon you will learn what noises and body movements equate to a good time, and which ones equate to discomfort.Being able to ask shows a great deal of maturity and confidence – these are two highly sought after characteristics that will add to the entire sex experience. Using this method of exploration I was able to learn very quickly what a particular girl likes or dislikes and by doing what works I had some of the best experiences one could ask for.The risk of exposing oneself
The idea of sex as the ultimate form of communication is as much a blessing as it can be a curse. Most people know this instinctively, and when it comes to sex they try to manage the risk of exposing themselves so blatantly by withholding on some areas and overemphasizing others. Sex simply isn’t at its utmost best if you can’t give or receive everything, completely. So learning the secret language she uses to reveal herself will take time. Don’t expect amazing sex in one night stands – good sex sometimes happens, but if the sex was good for that single instance, imagine what it would be if you actually knew her!The reluctance we have in opening ourselves up so completely can be a very healthy thing. It allows us to limit our emotional involvement and gives us time to ensure that we have selected a good mate. This is why sex in longer term relationships get better (presuming that the partners work on it). In some cases however childhood experiences, social norms or some belief may inhibit us sexually in unhealthy ways. As the man in the relationship this is your task: to navigate through these fears and inhibitions so that you can release the passion in your partner.This is precisely where the story comes together- the better we know someone, the better the sex. In fact, the old Hebrew word for sex used in the Bible means “to know”. Whether you believe in the Bible or not is irrelevant, the fact is that an ancient culture understood that sex is equal to knowledge. Truly knowing her is the key to unlocking the passion in your relationship.

How to Know If a Girl Wants to Sleep With You – 7 Cues You Must Know Before Leading Her to Sex

Sex is most primal desire that every man has. Normally, every man does his boring 9-6 job just because of two reasons, 1st he can eat to live, and the 2nd reason is he could have sex so that he can enjoy his life. Well, if you have a girlfriend and you got some cues that she might be interested in having sex with you, then you must ensure that she really wants to have sex with you. In this article you will get some of my crucial tips to know whether your girlfriend wants to sleep with you or not. Read on to discover the secrets.How to know if a girl wants to sleep with you?Here are some cues for you to figure out if she wants to have sex with you:#1. She always leans forward when she talks to you. Watch her body language; is she trying to impress you through her body? Does she become closer to you when she laughs? Does she touch your body when she laughs? All these cues indicate that she is preparing herself to have sex with you.#2. Does she send you adult text messages or tell you adult jokes? If she is a normal girl who doesn’t have a label of ‘slut’ or ‘whore’, then it is sure that she really wants to sleep with you.#3. When she talks to you, watch her eyes carefully. If you find that her pupils are dilated then it is a great cue that she has a great affection for you.#4. Watch her hands carefully, and read where her hands go when she talks to you. Does she touch her crotch or breasts? Subconsciously, she wants you to touch them. It also indicates that she has a great sensual of having sex with you.#5. Watch her legs. Find out whether they are open or closed. Open legs are a cue that she is thinking about your seriously.#6. When you have a long conversation with her, watch her cheeks. If her cheeks become rosy, then she wants to sleep with you.#7. Watch her lips. Wet and slightly open lips are a big cue for you. It is also indicates that she wants you to kiss her. If you want to make sure that she really wants you to kiss her, I suggest you to move closer to her. If she closes her eyes then she really wants you to kiss her, and at this time you can lead her to have sex with you. Well, if she doesn’t close her eyes, then maybe she needs some more time to sleep with you.Want to know more? Visit the next page.

Understanding Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults

Attention Deficit Disorder, also known as ADD, or its slightly worse cousin ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, can occur in adults as well as children, although most people simply think of it that is limited to kids. Adults can have it as well in varying degrees, although most adults who have it did not acquire it suddenly, but have had ADD since childhood.Many adults who had attention deficit disorder when they were younger children were able to overcome it as they grew and matured. They developed the extra strength required to focus their concentration on the task at hand, and therefore were able to keep up with the other kids in school. The maturity of the adult world is also helpful in this regard since they know better how adults behave, what is required of an adult, and to concentrate more than their peers to maintain focus on a task.Recent studies would indicate that approximately 2% to 5% of the entire population is affected by attention deficit disorder, which includes adults. Sometimes when ADD occurs in adults, it is known as Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, or AADD. Although adult ADD is significantly rarer than children with ADD, it is not unheard of. For kids, it is estimated that 1 in about 15 children have ADD or ADHD to some degree, and the more severe cases are the ones where the afflicted person will not grow out of it as they get old and mature, which creates a major problem in modern society. For adults, it is estimate that approximately 4% of all adults have ADD to a certain degree.One method of dealing with ADD in children or adults, interestingly enough, is through karate. The reason for this is because karate requires intense mental concentration and focus, and a good karate master will teach the mental discipline necessary to master the art of karate. For the ADD-afflicted person, focusing the mental energies requires more effort than his peers in the karate class, but once mastered, the extra benefit is that this has gone a very long way towards coping with or even neutralizing the ADD symptoms.Be aware that attention deficit disorder can occur in adults as well as children, although it is much rarer in adults. This is something that the afflicted person cannot help, and it is worth our time to acknowledge such afflicted people and to accommodate them as a contributing member of society.